The Coconut Vendor & My Impressions of Guilt

Impressions of Guilt or is it a guilt Trip ?

Today being sunday. I got up on a laidback morning. I was supposed to take Dad to one of the far off places around bangalore.

I was not in a hurry. My bike was in a good condition as i Vroomed it into action. Papa was comfortable in the pillion seat. We got into one of the one-way lanes while wading thru the Sunday Traffic.
I always observe the minuest of things for a possible source of trouble while riding. Its a habit picked up are having one nasty accident(which was no fault of mine, i swear)

As i navigated the blind kerb into the one-way lane. I saw this elderly coconut vendor who had stocked his Cycle with around 30 coconuts.

I never thought he would do a volte face' that instant.

But yes the next instant he had turned a full circle and was bang in my way. Since I always maintain distance and some leeway I could veer away my bike.

But I hit or I was hit by the cycle on my knee. which made me slightly imbalanced. This was bcoz we were surrounded by a lot of the Sunday Traffic which in any indian city can be overwhelming. So my balancing skills were put to a severe caustic test.

And on the other side the coconut vendor who was around 60years of age had lost his balance. balancing 30 coconuts laden cycle can be a daunting task. I could not stop my bike that very instant. Yet it was more a guilt trip i wanted to avoid.

It was not at all my mistake but then I could not face the old man who was after all out to make a living on a sluggish Sunday Morning.

I am reminded of Schubert's song.

I see a man who stares upwards
And wrings his hands from the force of his pain.
I shudder when I see his face.
The moon reveals myself to me.

Many times i think was i in error ?Was I unseeing ? what i ought to have seen !
My mind has jammed - was almost ajar. I felt the pressure of every breath

Somewhere was I cavalier ?
It is at these times That I find myself in a complete lack of Focus!

the Impression of guilt has turned to an expression of my guilt via this blog.

Am i Forgiven ?

~P